Child custody when parents live in two countries: what rules apply?

Following a separation, parents sometimes end up living in different countries. One may remain in France while the other moves to London, Brussels, Montreal, or Dubai. In some cases, this distance existed during the relationship; in others, it is the result of a new professional, personal, or family project.

For parents, one question then becomes central: how can you organize a child's life between two countries without undermining their sense of stability or their relationship with either parent? Behind the question of "custody" lie several key issues: the child's primary residence, parental authority, legal jurisdiction, international travel, and the scheduling of time spent with each parent.

For international couples, French expatriates, or foreign nationals living in France, understanding the legal framework is the best way to gain clarity and make decisions with greater peace of mind.

"When two countries are involved, the goal is not just to determine where the child will live: it is to build a structure that protects their sense of stability and their relationship with both parents."

When parents live in two different countries, which court has the authority to make decisions for the children?

When a family is spread across multiple countries, the first instinct is sometimes to look at the nationality of the parents or the child. However, regarding parental responsibility, the child's habitual residence generally plays a central role in determining the competent jurisdiction.

This concept refers to the country where the child's life is actually centered. Factors such as their schooling, family and social environment, the length of their stay, and the circumstances of their life in that country may all be taken into consideration.

The applicable rules vary depending on the countries involved. Within the European Union, specific regulations govern court jurisdiction and the enforcement of decisions. When the situation involves a country outside the European Union, international conventions may also come into play.

This is why, in an international separation, identifying the competent court must be done as early as possible. A decision to relocate made without clarifying this point can make the situation much more complex.

Expert guidance regarding child residency after a separation allows for a comprehensive review of the family situation before determining the most appropriate strategy.

How do you determine which country a child should live in?

The question is not about which country is "better" or which parent should "win." The starting point is always the child's best interests and finding an arrangement that fits their daily reality.

Factors such as their age, schooling, habits, social ties, each parent's availability, and practical travel logistics can be decisive. Each parent's ability to respect the other's role is also essential to building a lasting balance.

When parents live in relatively close cities, regular travel may still be a viable option. The situation is very different when the two homes are separated by several hours of flight time.

We must therefore move away from a strictly mathematical view of parenting time. A balanced arrangement does not necessarily mean the child must spend the exact same number of days with each parent. Above all, it must allow the child to maintain stable routines and a genuine relationship with both parents.

Shared residency between two countries: is it really possible?

Shared residency between two countries is not impossible in principle. However, its feasibility depends primarily on the distance and the child's daily life.

When parents live on either side of a border, within a reasonable distance of the school, shared residency can sometimes be considered. It naturally becomes more difficult when every change of residence requires several hours of travel or a flight. Here again, the child's best interests must come first.

Schooling is a very practical constraint. For a child attending the same school every day, a weekly rotation between Paris and Montreal obviously does not have the same reality as one between two border towns.

This does not mean that the parent living abroad must become a "vacation" parent. Other arrangements can be developed, with longer periods during school holidays, certain weekends when travel allows, and regular contact from a distance.

Within the framework of divorce for a couple living in two different countries, so it is important to consider both the legal framework and the practical reality of the family simultaneously.

Can a parent move abroad with their child?

Moving abroad after a separation can be a real opportunity: career advancement, returning to one's home country, being closer to family, or starting a new life with a partner. But when a child is involved, this plan also profoundly changes how co-parenting is managed.

Traveling abroad occasionally and permanently relocating a child to another country are two very different situations. When a move affects how parental authority is exercised, the other parent must be informed in advance and in a timely manner.

In the event of a disagreement, it is essential not to present the departure as a fait accompli. A judge can be petitioned to review the situation before the move takes place.

This proactive approach is all the more important because the illicit removal or retention of a child abroad can trigger international mechanisms designed to secure their return.

How can you practically organize co-parenting from thousands of miles away?

When parents live far apart, the clearer the arrangements, the less room there is for daily misunderstandings.

The schedule must specifically account for school holidays, travel time, and transportation costs. Who books the tickets? Who pays for them? When does the child travel? Who keeps their passport? How does each parent receive school or medical updates?

Calls and video conferences can also be scheduled with enough precision to maintain a regular bond, especially when there is a time difference.

This level of detail is not meant to make the parental relationship rigid. On the contrary, a clear framework can free parents from constant, repetitive negotiations and allow everyone to focus more on the quality of their relationship with the child.

For expatriate or binational families, receiving advice from a lawyer for international families also makes it possible to incorporate the specificities of the different countries involved right from the start.

Getting a decision regarding children recognized in another country

Obtaining a decision is sometimes only the first step. When parents live in two different states, you must also ask yourself whether this decision can be recognized and, if necessary, enforced in the other country.

The mechanisms vary depending on the states involved. Within the European Union, rules are in place to facilitate the recognition and enforcement of decisions regarding parental responsibility. With certain non-EU countries, international conventions may apply. In other situations, the national laws of the country in question will need to be examined.

This dimension should be anticipated, especially when a parent is already living abroad or planning to move there.

For French citizens living abroad, foreign nationals living in France, and binational couples, the challenge is to build an arrangement that works not only on paper in France, but also remains legally and practically sound in an international context.

Support for these situations can be provided in both French and English, which facilitates communication when part of the case or the family environment is English-speaking.

My advice

When two countries are involved, do not wait for a disagreement over your child's residence to become an emergency. Plans to move abroad, new school arrangements, or significant changes to the time spent with each parent are best thought through in advance.

Our approach to these situations is to first provide you with clarity : which court has jurisdiction? What rules apply? How much discretion do you have? Which points need to be secured?

We can then build a strategy tailored to your family's reality. The law provides a framework, but that framework must serve your co-parenting plan and your child's well-being.

Living in two countries does not condemn a family to a conflict-ridden relationship or the alienation of a parent. It does, however, require more foresight, precision, and collaboration. The goal is not for one parent to "win" the country of residence: it is to build an arrangement in which the child develops stable points of reference and both parents can continue to fully play their part in their life.

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I am Julie Thibault, a family and divorce lawyer. I specialize in assisting expatriates, French citizens living abroad, and binational couples facing separation or divorce involving multiple countries.

We work in both French and English, helping you understand the rules that apply to your situation, make informed choices, and build a strategy tailored to your family's reality. Our goal: to provide you with clarity so you can move forward with confidence, while preserving your family's and children's well-being as much as possible.

Are you facing a separation or divorce and want to know what options are available to you? I invite you to discuss your situation so we can identify the key issues and determine the next steps. 

👉 Book an initial consultation.

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