International divorce and children: what happens when parents live in two different countries?

When an expatriate couple separates, the issue of children often becomes the most sensitive. Whether you are a French national living abroad, a foreign national settled in France, or a parent in a binational couple, the same concerns arise: where will the children live? In which country will important decisions be made? Can one return with them to their country of origin? How can the bond with the other parent be maintained despite the distance?

In an international divorce, decisions concerning children must be considered with particular care. They don't just involve daily arrangements. They affect the child's well-being, their schooling, their emotional anchors, and their relationship with each parent.

"In international divorces, the most difficult question isn't always legal. It's often about how to allow a child to continue growing up with two parents who now live in two different countries."

The child's habitual residence: an essential starting point

When parents live in two different countries, or plan to do so, the first question to ask concerns the place of the child's habitual residence.

This concept is essential because it usually helps determine which judge has jurisdiction to rule on measures concerning the child: their residence, visitation rights, holiday arrangements, travel, or the exercise of parental authority.

Contrary to popular belief, the child's nationality is not the determining factor. What matters most often is their actual roots: the place where they live, go to school, and maintain their family, social, and emotional connections.

These situations often require the assistance of a family law attorney, especially when multiple countries, languages, or legal systems are involved.

How to arrange children's lives when parents live in two countries?

For many expatriate parents, this is when concerns become very real.

Where will the children live? How can their sense of stability be maintained? How can one continue to fully parent when no longer residing in the same country?

Behind these questions often lies the same concern: finding a balance that allows the child to maintain a strong relationship with each of their parents while preserving their stability.

When parents are separated by hundreds or thousands of kilometers, a shared custody arrangement becomes very difficult to organize. Other solutions can then be considered.

The child can primarily reside with one parent, with extended periods with the other parent during school holidays, certain long weekends, or part of the summer.

The arrangement will depend notably on:

• the child's age;
• their schooling;
• their ability to travel;
• the distance between the two countries;
• the quality of the bond with each parent;
• the child's expressed wishes;
• the parents' ability to cooperate.

In all cases, the child's best interest remains the central criterion. The goal is not just to divide time between two adults, but to build a viable arrangement for the child.

To explore this topic further, the child-related issues during a divorce must be carefully examined from the earliest stages of separation.

Can one move abroad with their child after a divorce?

Moving abroad after divorce is one of the most sensitive issues.

A parent may wish to return to their home country, accept a professional opportunity abroad, or be closer to their family. But when a child is involved, this choice cannot always be made alone.

If the move changes the child's living conditions or the exercise of parental authority, it must be legally addressed in advance.

Several factors will then be examined:

• the child's best interest ;
• the impact of the move on their stability;
• the consequences for the relationship with the other parent;
• the living conditions in the new country;
• any agreements between parents;
• the proposed solutions for maintaining regular contact with the other parent.

Before any departure, it is therefore advisable to obtain clear legal advice. A decision made too quickly can have significant consequences, particularly in cases of disagreement between parents.

School holidays, travel, and remote communication: points to plan for

In international families, practical arrangements are as important as the residency decision.

School holidays often need to be precisely defined: dates, duration of stays, flight tickets, child accompaniment, travel documents, and cost sharing.

It is also useful to anticipate remote communication. Video calls, messages, or regular communication times can allow the child to maintain a bond with the distant parent.

These details may seem secondary at the time of separation. However, they often become sources of tension when they haven't been planned for.

When is it considered international child abduction?

International child abduction is one of the biggest fears in divorces involving multiple countries.

International child abduction may be at issue when a parent removes a child from the other parent who has parental authority, or with whom the child habitually resides.

This may involve:

• moving abroad without consent;
• not returning after a holiday;
• settling in another country despite the other parent's opposition.

These situations can lead to lengthy and complex proceedings. Therefore, they should be avoided as much as possible through a clear legal framework.

Why choose a bilingual lawyer for an international divorce?

When a divorce involves expatriates, foreigners living in France, or a binational couple, language becomes a significant challenge.

It's not just about translating words. It's essential to understand documents, explain legal implications, communicate with a spouse or foreign counsel, and accurately express your concerns.

This is especially important when decisions involve children.

I practice in both French and English, and I regularly assist French nationals living abroad, expatriates residing in France, and international couples dealing with divorce, child-related matters, or family arrangements across different countries.

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My advice

In an international divorce, the initial decisions are often the most crucial. Before considering a move, changing child arrangements, or making a hasty decision, take the time to clarify your rights, your obligations, and the potential consequences of each choice.

The goal is not just to settle a divorce. It is to build an arrangement that protects the child, secures the parents, and allows everyone to find balance despite the distance.

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